Recently I have been going through a storm and a half. As I am typing this, I still have not come to terms with everything that has happened. There are so many unanswered questions— which may never be answered.
The theme which keeps reoccurring is that you can never really know who your friends are. I look back at my life and see the people who I thought were my friends, who turned out to be the opposite, only to re-kindle that friendship now. People change with time, no one is ever consistently one character. People’s motivations and feelings also change with time.
At this moment in time, I have come to learn that some of the people I called ‘friends’ are anything but. I have always been alone and used to being by myself despite being a friendly person. This period of my life has been different. I have been reaching out and networking more and opening up as a person. I put trust into these individuals as time has gone on and envisioned them being in my future.
I have recently learnt that they have been in the centre of gossip, with the main subject being me. I have been hurt, annoyed and been feeling betrayed. But now I am thankful. That experience has made me evaluate who my friends are and what values I use to judge people as my ‘friend’. They were friendly and I had known them for a couple of years, so I classed them as ‘friends’. However, people change as time goes on. They may have started being friends with me, with good intentions, but as they saw me become vulnerable, I became a target.
As immature as it is to be the centre of gossip, it’s really shine a light on how much I open up to people. I have learnt that certain people do not want to see you happy and successful. Some people want to keep you down, and you need to get rid of those toxic people. I spent so long trying to figure out why this was happening to me, but I have come to realise that the why isn’t as important as the ‘what do I do now?’. I have taken this experience as a chance to show my real friends and family how much I appreciate them and taken time to evaluate whether I may be too trusting with certain people.
Im spring cleaning my life to filter out the negative people. I am surrounding myself with positive, uplifting people and I am so much happier for it.